To be or not to be...

Tuesday... argh, as much as I don't really wanna describe it, here goes.  So I visited USC for a very useless Transfer Information Session.  Thanks for telling me things that are already pretty much explained on the website.  Ugh, I was so stupid late, thank God for Robert Siegel, thank God he was free at the time I called him, and thank God he knew what building to take me to when I was sooo lost on that campus.  I haven't seen Siegs since graduation!!!  I got a text from Jezreel, and he helped to show me around, along with Big Al Ortega!!! I haven't spent time with Big Al since middle school at Occidental basketball camp!  Also bumped into Paul Goulding!  Paul will always be Paul, haha.  Well, what can I say?  USC's awesome...  It's everything I knew it was and more.  Furthermore, it's leaps and bounds better than Cal Poly.   Like 3,000,000 times better.  Like if Cal Poly was airplane food, USC's pretty much a world renown, five-star restaurant with top of the line chefs and great looking waitresses.  As I was walking around, however, I had this weird, omnipresent feeling looming over me.  I felt like I should have been there in the first place.  I shouldn't be walking around getting to know the campus, touring like I already had done in high school.  I felt like I should have been there already--taking classes, hanging with friends...  It made me bitter.  The transfer process will suck if I try.  My 5 AP classes won't count for any GEs, and all the classes I've taken so far won't count either, so I'll pretty much be losing at least a year.  Then, to take classes that will transfer over, I'll be taking classes that I don't have to take at Cal Poly--wasting yet another half a year.  What a dilemma... There are times when what is best for you must be put ahead of what you want.  Hmm, what if what I want is actually what's best for me?

I drove to my 6:00 game afterwards, of course getting in stupid, ridiculous, hour-and-a-half traffic on the 10 freeway.  I got there with two minutes left and we were down by four.  I stupidly subbed in and we ended up losing by eleven.  Tsk tsk... It may have not entirely been my fault... But I sure put that pressure on myself.  I had been playing basketball everyday all week just to play well in this game... and here I felt like the reason why we lost...

Afterwards, we all went to Shakey's where Leah... eventually met up with us. Then, due to a miscommunication, I had to drive her back to Fullerton.  I screwed up soooo bad.  I thought for some reason that she lived close by!!!  I then went home late to a furious dad who yelled at me about being inconsiderate making him wait up like that...

Wednesday, I went out to lunch with Eunice and Vincent at Afloat Sushi in Old Town Pasadena!  I took the train there, just nearby, knowing it'd be cheaper than parking.  It really helped to get my mind back to its center, even if I only rode it for 3 stops.  I took that same train for 4 years in high school, man.  It's amazing how I hated it yet grew so emotionally mature from it, just having that time to think.  The sushi floating by on boats... Eunice underestimating her bill... walking around Old Town in PERFECT weather... Pinkberry for just my second time ever... Reading the funny books at Urban Outfitters... Ahh, a good day.  I missed them two so much, and I hadn't talked to Eunice in months!

Friday, after picking up my mom from the airport, I went with Josh first to Taco Spot for some *thumbs up* Carne Asada Fries, and then we eventually met up with Gianina and her friends, Wendy, Genie, and Angelica.  I didn't know Gianina HAD that many girl friends... haha, jkjk.  Walked around the Americana with them, where a very interesting somebody had waited for me outside of Urban Outfitters to meet me... hehe, we'll see... she's...  Anyways, we went to watch 'I Love You, Man', which was actually really really funny, much better than I had expected!  Dinner at Island's... free Pinkberry because Wendy worked there... and then actually not getting in trouble this time when I came home late!  Hooray!

Saturday, after basketball practice and missing the Cal Poly basketball game (they were an unranked team that went all the way to the Division II NCAA National Championship, only to lose by a buzzer beater three pointer), I hung out with my family, watched 'Duplicity', which was actually just okay.  In the previews, they make it seem like it's some fast-paced, witty, espionage romantic comedy... It's kinda just one long story dragged out...

Ahh, over all, it was a pretty good Spring Break.  Certain liberties were naturally gone because I was home, but still.  It was very very restful.  I also got to catch up on Heroes and I played A LOT of basketball.  Ooh, I also got to read Watchmen, which I really enjoyed.  It was a very cynical way of looking at the world, which I found very interesting.  Now, I can't wait to see the movie! 

I'm back with a vengeance this quarter.  As a 'fuck you' to Cal Poly, to Loyola, to all the schools I should have gotten in to, I swear to get straight A's this quarter.  I'm giving it my all, no matter what it takes.  Screw a social life if I have to.  Fuck it.  I feel like this whole year I've been getting beat by an opponent I know that I'm better than.  I suppose there comes a point when you're tired of getting beat up, and even if you're losing and know that you will lose, you give it everything you've got in just one final push...

Quotes of the Week:

"Will: My father was an alcoholic. Mean fuckin' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings... He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose." 
Sean:Well, I gotta go with the belt there. 

Will: I used to go with the wrench. 

Sean: Why? 
Will: Cause fuck him, that's why."

~Good WIll Hunting