Only Fools Rush In...
Posted: 01 April 2009 by Brian in
1
First of all, my standards are entirely natural. My standards didn't come as a result of being extraordinarily hurt by someone, nor is there someone who created big shoes to fill for the next girl. You know that feeling when you see someone, and you're immediately attracted to them? Your heart races, your eyes sparkle, you have a silly look on your face and you know it, and you're suddenly nervous about what you're going to say to them. You know that feeling? Yeah, I've rarely ever had that feeling. That's because of how my standards go. I've just had them all my life.
I've discussed my standards with some girls, and with a particular three, I've gotten the response, "Yeah, because you're Brian Paggao!" Well, what does that mean? Here's what they said,
"You're Brian Paggao! You're confident and smart, and you've got a lot of things going for you!"
"It's just you. You have a lot of girls that like you, but you only like a few of them, if ever. Because of that many girls, you have a right to be picky."
"I don't know, you're Brian. You come from a great family... they've raised you... I don't know, I'm really bad at explaining things!"
How flattering, ladies. While these may be true on some level, I honestly don't see any of them as the real reason for my standards. Yes, I have been lucky enough to grow up in a great family who have encouraged me to have a well-rounded lifestyle that I guess some people have found to be attractive. But I really don't have these standards because I see myself or think of myself as some really special, good catch or anything like that. The truth is, I have these standards because I feel like if I do have a girlfriend, I'd care for her and do anything to make her happy. Don't get me wrong, I very much have my own life, but I feel like I'd really spend time to take care of her. Why should I waste my time with girls that I really don't have feelings for? I know that sounds bad, but seriously, if someone who meets my standards comes along, I'd give her the world, and I'd reach for the moon and the stars if that wasn't enough. I have these standards so that I know I'm giving it all to someone who deserves it.
My standards have kept me from certain experiences, they've kept me from rushing into things, and recently, I learned that my standards can even create a great hesitancy to act when I really do have feelings. So people tell me to lower them. Sure, logically, that makes sense. Maybe they are too high, but I really don't think that they are. Lower them? Why? It's like you're telling me to give up my favorite food. Why should I? Baby back ribs will be out there, and I really don't need to eat some other food to substitute them.
4 Years, 9 Months
To this exact day, it has been that long since I've had my last relationship. If you do the math to make it 5 years and you keep in mind the dates, you may actually know how long it lasted, and from what month to what month. Don't get me wrong, I've talked to a couple girls, trying to see if I could develop feelings, but nothing's really ever come of them. Even this last "relationship" I had, I don't even see that it was a real relationship. I mean, technically, sure we were. But now, she's nothing but 'that one girl' from 'that one time' just like everyone else. I know what you might be thinking... Does it bother you that you've been single that long? Don't you feel like you've missed out? You know, it's funny, if you were to ask me those questions just this past summer, I'd probably tell you 'No' straight up, right away. I've been saved from a ton of heartache and stress that I know many of my peers have experienced. But you know what? I've also learned that all that stress and heartache is all worth it for those moments when it feels like someone just gets you...
Maybe no one's got me in a while... or maybe.. I'm afraid to show the real Brian Paggao.
Quote of the Day:
"A boy can love a million girls, but it takes a man to love a girl a million ways."
~Unknown
I found it on some random website. how fitting :)