To be or not to be...

pen·sive

\ˈpen(t)-siv\ adj : musingly or dreamily thoughtful
syn reflective, speculative, contemplative, meditative.

Yup, that definition pretty much captures everything about how this blog will be. While I may drift into the details of my everyday life, I'd like more posts to be about reflections and ruminations about certain experiences -- less about what I actually did. But hey, with no further adieu, FIRST POST!!!

Oh, no. What have I just done?

I hate these things. From blogs to About Me:'s to silly facebook notes, I just absolutely despise expressing myself in writing for all the world to see. Not only do I hate talking about myself, but it also generally takes me a while to open up to people and trust them. So I apologize in advance if you begin to follow my blog only to one day be disappointed over the fact that I have a life to live and I don't give a shit about who has to hear about it. :)

What is this blog going to be about?

I don't know. I suppose, in some ways, that's the beauty in it all: the vast possibilities of what I could talk about. I could go from my huge love of art to my mild arachniphobia! It'll really all be up to me. One thing is certain: my brain moves from topic to topic a thousand miles per hour. While typing just that single sentence I've already thought about and broken down the possibilities of each and every little thing I'm going to do from tomorrow, Thursday, to Sunday afternoon. Like, seriously, even down to what the possibilities are of what I'm going to have for breakfast Sunday (The answer's probably Jamba Juice, haha, I'll let you know). I think. A lot. I tend to overthink things and/or assume things. While some thoughts are optimistic, I'd have to admit that most thoughts are cynnical; we'll see which ones I'll end up sharing with the blog world.

Why did I do this?

Well, some form of envy, I'd say. Both Mike and Gianina have AWESOME blogs. I mean, let's face it, people: no one really cares about what you have to say in these blogs unless you're talking about them. I really don't care about ONION FO SAYO, nor the strange kid singing (who randomly yet so epically pulls out a Wii wheel!). No one really cares. People who write blogs are really just doing it for themselves. And that's actually what I'm jealous about. They can look back on certain mind states and reminisce.

Let me put it this way. My freshman year of high school... Let's just say I was at a crossroads in life. Although I hated it at the time, I had to take public transportation through downtown LA to and from school everyday. What ended up happening was... by taking the bus and train, I had so much time to think. I grew emotionally mature from being able to think so much, and also because when you see people truly struggling, your problems are miniscule in the world. I came up with some really great philosophies about life and love on those buses that I could have written books about. But sadly, I remember close to nothing of what I came up with. Now, if only I had written it all down... if only... I had... a blog (?).

Now, here I am, at another cross roads. It's scary how much this freshman year of College mirrors my freshman year of high school. I've gone through yet another... learning experience. College has had its obstacles and limitations... I do know that like that HS experience, I will grow from this. It's really interesting to me how much I will grow, and what philosophies about life and love will come of this experience. We'll have to wait and see.

Welcome to my mind!

~BP

btw, anyone pick up on the word play? blog: "To be or not to be..." first post: "That is the question..." What I do on the post: Answer questions... haa? haa? See what I did there? Nice.